Feedback That Moves Performance Forward and Keeps Trust Intact

Start with clarity, not criticism

How do you give feedback that motivates improvement without demoralizing someone? Make the conversation about a specific performance gap and a credible path forward—not a judgment of the person.

You cannot guarantee that feedback will feel comfortable. Someone may be disappointed or defensive even when you handle it well. Your responsibility is to be accurate, respectful, and clear about what needs to change, while making room for their perspective.

For founders and CEOs, this also means resisting two habits: delaying feedback to protect the relationship and taking over the work instead of addressing the problem. Neither gives the person a fair opportunity to improve.

1. Check the expectation before judging the result

Before scheduling the conversation, write down:

• The expectation: What outcome, behavior, or standard was required?
• The observation: What actually happened? Use specific examples.
• The impact: What changed for customers, colleagues, deadlines, or quality?
• Your contribution: Were priorities, authority, resources, and deadlines clear?

Replace labels such as “unreliable” or “not strategic” with observable facts. “The last two forecasts arrived after the agreed deadline” gives someone something concrete to address.

If you never communicated the standard, own that. You can establish a clear expectation now without treating it as a previously understood agreement.

2. Open directly and explain the purpose

Choose a private setting with enough time for discussion. Address the issue reasonably soon after it happens, once you have checked the facts and can speak calmly. Avoid correcting someone publicly unless an immediate intervention is necessary.

A sample opening:

“I want to discuss the last two customer handoffs. Both were missing the implementation requirements we agreed to include, so the delivery team had to repeat discovery. I want to understand what happened and agree on how to make the next handoff complete.”

This opening identifies the issue, explains its impact, and invites problem-solving. It does not question the person's character or guess at their motivation.

Avoid burying the concern between unrelated compliments. Genuine appreciation matters, but it should not obscure the message. You can be warm without being vague.

3. Ask before deciding what will fix it

After describing the gap, pause. Ask, “What was happening from your perspective?” Then listen without preparing your rebuttal.

A missed expectation can reflect different problems: an unclear priority, a skill gap, excessive workload, a dependency, or an agreed process that was not followed. Each calls for a different response.

Useful follow-up questions include:

• “Which part of the expectation was unclear?”
• “What got in the way, and when did you recognize it?”
• “What could you handle differently next time?”

Take new information seriously. If you changed priorities without adjusting deadlines, acknowledge that and correct it. Shared responsibility does not remove accountability; it makes accountability more accurate.

4. Agree on a visible improvement plan

“Be more proactive” is not a workable plan. Define what better performance will look like, by when, and how you will assess it.

For the handoff example, an agreement might be:

• Standard: Each handoff includes the completed requirements checklist.
• Ownership: The account lead confirms completeness before transferring the account.
• Support: The delivery lead reviews one example and clarifies required details.
• Checkpoint: Review the next three handoffs together in two weeks.
• Escalation: Raise missing information before the handoff deadline.

Ask the employee to help shape the plan and summarize the agreement in their own words. This reveals misunderstandings and gives them meaningful ownership. Send a brief written recap so neither of you has to rely on memory.

5. Make room for emotion without withdrawing the message

If someone becomes upset, slow down rather than piling on more evidence. You might say, “I can see this is difficult to hear. We can take a moment, and then work through the next steps.”

Do not demand immediate enthusiasm or reassure them that everything is fine if it is not. If they disagree, ask which facts or expectations they see differently and investigate legitimate discrepancies.

For repeated or serious issues, explain the required improvement and relevant consequences plainly. Follow company policy and involve HR or appropriate employment advice when formal action may be needed.

6. Follow through and recognize progress

Keep the checkpoint you agreed to. Recognize specific improvement: “The requirements were complete this time, and delivery could begin without repeating discovery.” If progress is insufficient, identify the remaining gap and address it directly.

Trust is supported by consistency: clear standards, useful support, honest recognition, and no surprise consequences.

For help preparing these conversations, explore Jessica Hill Holm’s workbook, Feedback That Builds Trust, which helps leaders deliver honest, constructive feedback that strengthens trust, improves performance, and builds accountability without damaging relationships. For personal support applying these practices to your team, consider a coaching call with Jessica.