Before the Meeting: Preparing for a Difficult Conversation with an Employee

What to look for in support in Switzerland

If you are searching for how to prepare for a difficult conversation with an employee, you may need practical preparation rather than a training programme. The immediate task is to address something important clearly, fairly and without making the situation unnecessarily worse.

For leaders buying coaching or training in Switzerland, look for support that respects your working language, organisational context and the boundaries between leadership advice, HR processes and legal advice. Ask about confidentiality, the approach to preparation, fees and whether the support suits a single conversation or an ongoing leadership challenge.

A useful provider should help you examine your own contribution, not simply rehearse how to make an employee comply. Be cautious about promises of conflict-free conversations: you can prepare your approach, but you cannot control another person’s response.

If the issue involves possible dismissal, discrimination, harassment, health concerns or a formal warning, consult the appropriate HR or qualified Swiss employment-law adviser before proceeding. Coaching does not replace that guidance.

Define the purpose before choosing your words

Write one sentence answering: What needs to be understood or different after this conversation?

Keep the aim within your control. “Explain the missed expectations, understand what happened and agree next steps” is more useful than “Make them admit they were wrong”.

Distinguish between a discussion and a decision. If a decision has already been made, do not present it as an open question. If you genuinely need the employee’s perspective before deciding, leave room for it to change your assessment.

Separate observations from interpretations

Prepare two or three specific examples. For each, note:

• What happened and when.
• What expectation had been communicated.
• The observable impact on work or colleagues.
• What remains uncertain.

“You do not care about deadlines” is an interpretation. “The last two reports arrived after the agreed deadline, delaying the review” describes behaviour and impact.

Check whether your expectations were actually clear. Were priorities competing? Did the employee have the authority, information and resources needed? Accountability and curiosity belong in the same conversation.

Plan the setting and your opening

Choose a private setting and allow enough time for a response. For remote meetings, check that both participants can speak confidentially. Give enough notice and context for the employee to prepare; avoid a vague invitation that creates unnecessary anxiety. Follow your organisation’s procedures for formal meetings.

Prepare a short opening rather than a complete script:

“I want to discuss the deadlines for the last two reports. Both arrived after the dates we agreed, which delayed the review. I’d like to understand what happened and agree how we manage the next deadline.”

Use your own words and accurate examples. Avoid exaggerated reassurance, a long preamble or praise used to disguise the concern. Being respectful does not require being vague.

Prepare to listen, including when it feels uncomfortable

Before the meeting, notice what you are bringing into it: frustration, anxiety, disappointment or a desire to resolve everything quickly. Decide how you will slow down if you become defensive.

Prepare a few questions:

• “How do you see the situation?”
• “What got in the way?”
• “Is there something important I have missed?”
• “What would help you meet this expectation?”

If the employee disagrees, ask which facts or expectations they see differently. If new information emerges, investigate rather than forcing an immediate conclusion. If emotions rise, acknowledge them and consider a short pause. You do not need to abandon the issue, but you may need to adjust the pace.

Decide how you will close and follow up

Aim to leave with a shared understanding of the concern, even if you do not agree on every point. Clarify the expected change, any support you will provide, who owns each action and when you will review progress.

Record the discussion accurately and proportionately, following your organisation’s confidentiality and record-keeping requirements. Distinguish agreed actions from unresolved questions. Follow-through matters as much as a well-prepared opening.

Who Jessica Hill Holm is and why her focus is relevant

Jessica Hill Holm, of Hill Holm Leadership, is an Executive Coach & Advisor working in People & Culture. Her work focuses on building and transforming innovation-driven companies alongside CEOs and founders.

That focus is relevant when an employee conversation also involves leadership responsibility, organisational change or the relationship between a founder and their team. You can explore her professional profile on LinkedIn and decide whether her focus matches your needs.

Take your next step

Want to work on this yourself right now? Explore Jessica’s workbook, The Difficult Conversations Playbook, as a self-directed resource for difficult conversations.

Leaders facing this challenge at executive level can also book a free discovery call to discuss their situation and whether coaching is an appropriate fit.